The Jamun tree

Yesterday it rained heavily. A Jamun tree in secretariat lawn was uprooted. Next morning, Gardner saw it and found a man trapped under it.
Gardner went to peon; peon ran to clerk, clerk ran to superintendent & superintendent rushed to lawn outside. Within minutes, there were scores of people gathered around the man trapped under the Jamun tree.

“Poor tree, it was very old” said one clerk.

“It’s jamuns were very juicy” said another

“Yes, next summer there wont be any more jamun for my children”, said third one, almost crying.

“But this man?” Gardner pointed toward man trapped under the tree.

“Oh yes, what we should do of him” Asked superintendent

“Is he alive?” someone asked from the crowd.

“Not a chance, Tree is old and heavy, I bet you for a cup of tea, this man died within minutes of this tree falling on him” Replied someone from the crowd

“I am alive” said the man trapped under the tree, his voice barely audible.

“Ha ha, you owe me a cup of tea” Bet was settled now.

Gardner was an impatient man. He again asked superintendent. “What about this man”

Superintendent was worried, He was after-all made superintendent because he was minister’s Driver’s Son.

“This is a high profile case, it has never happened before. As per departmental rules, I am not authorized to take action on this matter. In fact this is a secretary-level decision. Prepare a report, and submit it to me before lunch” He ordered two clerks.

Both clerks tried their level best to prepare the preliminary report before lunch, but Tea and Bidis were in short supply. However, report was prepared by the end of day and duly submitted to Superintendent Sahib.

Since it was urgent matter, report was faxed to Assistant Secretary’s office on third floor. Reply was awaited, and thus passed a day.

Gardner was a foolish man; he offered water to the man trapped under tree. Greedy man took the offer surreptitiously.

Next day, Assistant Secretary’s office replied.
It read,
“Fax is not a recognized medium of departmental communication. All superintendents are hereby directed to prohibit use of facsimile communication. The report submitted by Superintendent in this case is Null and void. He is required to submit his report through proper channel only.”

A copy was duly marked to Joint Secretary for disciplinary action against the Superintendent.

Superintendent was dejected. He barged in on the man trapped under tree and asked,

“Why did you choose this tree and not any other tree freely available in city? Can’t you see, this is a government land, and only authorized persons are entitled to use trees implanted on this land. A high level Committee has been formed, and if it founds you guilty of trespassing, then you are a dead man”

“I am already dying, please help me” Man trapped under tree, spoke for the second time.

Superintendent was really pissed off, he was a busy man already, and this additional report required much of his time. But he had no other option, so he rushed to Joint Secretary’s office on fourth floor.

“Oh ho, Superintendent Sahib, Please come, please come and have a seat.” Said Joint Secretary who was a jovial man.

“Sirjee, I am in a very bad situation, a man is trapped under a jamun tree in Secretariat lawn. Neither he is dying, nor admitting trespassing charges leveled against him. I duly prepared a preliminary report, and as matter was urgent I faxed the report to Assistant Secretary for necessary action” blurted superintendent in one breath.

“Oh, I see. Don’t worry; I will quash the disciplinary enquiry against you. Submit the report to Assistant Secretary for further action.” Joint Secretary was famous for his ability to take quick decisions.

Lift was not working again, so superintendent has to take stairs to run down to Assistant Secretary on third floor.

AS was not in office, as matter in hand was urgent, superintendent submitted his report to PA of AS.

PA was a deft man. He immediately informed AS who was out shopping with his wife.
AS directed the PA to hand over the report to Additional Secretary to take further action.

Additional secretary was also a very busy man, but as the matter was very urgent he convened a meeting of all under-secretaries to discuss the problem. A hurried decision was taken and it was decided in the meeting that Tree should be cut in two parts.
A copy of decision was marked to Municipality chief engineer who was to arrange for woodcutter.

It was already past 4 PM, when Municipality Chief-engineer received the decision taken by under Secretaries meeting under the chairmanship of Additional Secretary. Chief-engineer immediately sent two Junior-engineers to visit the site, and report following day.

Both Junior-Engineers were passed out from a recognized UGC and AICTE approved Private College. They both were admitted in management quota, and hence paid an exorbitant amount. Both were very learned man, as they have been taught by the best available faculty ready to work on Princely sum of Rs. 18000 PM.

JE’s visited the site and took measurements of tree and man trapped under tree. Man was lying face down, and tree was placed on his spine. Superintendent kids were playing seesaw on the tree. They prepared their report and submitted the same next morning to Chief Engineer.

Report recommended that area be secured and woodcutter be provided with safety helmet and necessary equipments. However decision taken by under-secretary meeting was silent on one important point. It didn’t mentioned the exact ratio in which tree was to be cut. Hence JE’s report was forwarded to Additional Secretary with a remark seeking clarification on this important point.

Additional Secretary was impressed with JE’s report. He banked upon the expertise of Junior Engineers and replied
“You may use your own expertise in regard to this matter, Secretariat has no objection in this regard, and A NOC is being issued to concerned office”

On third day, since it rained heavily, Municipality Woodcutter arrived on the scene. It was earlier decided to float tenders for the post of Woodcutter for this specific job, however keeping in view the urgency of mater, it was finally decided that municipality can use it’s in-house woodcutter for the task.

Woodcutter realized that it is no mean task. Jamun tree is full of fruits and heavy on one side. Kids were also fuming because they were not allowed anymore to play seesaw.

Woodcutter started pruning jamuns and within an hour he had collected 4 Kg of Jamuns.
Tree was now in perfect alignment, and woodcutter readied his saw and no sooner than he had made first cut, 5 officials from Forest department arrived.

Forest officer demanded to know on whose authority this tree was being cut to pieces.

He was shown the report of superintendent, Additional Secretary decision, and reports of JE.
Forest officer was no nonsense man. He immediately consulted Forest rules 1996(As Amended 2004) and said ”As per rule 21A sub-rule VI, Explanation 2, Any person who desires to cut a tree has to inform Forest office 3 days in advance and take permission in writing.”
“Since, no one bothered to inform Forest officials about the matter, we cannot allow cutting of this tree”

Gardner was a shrewd man; he asked “but what would happen of this man”

Forest officer again consulted Forest rules 1996(As Amended 2004) and replied “As per rule 23E sub-rule II, Explanation 3,
“Everything attached to tree in natural circumstances including fruits flowers and related items, are property of Forest Department. However Forest department has no claim whatsoever on Private property attached with trees arising out of unforeseen circumstances”

“Therefore Man trapped under the tree does not come under jurisdiction of forest department, he is further directed to de-attach himself from the tree, failing which Penal Action will be taken against him” said Forest Officer , impressing everyone with his knowledge of Forest rules 1996(As Amended 2004).

The man trapped under tree raised his head and asked Forest officer for his help.

Forest Officer was a kind man, he asked his fellow officers for suggestions.
“We cannot cut the tree” blurted one official
“I suppose there is no restriction on cutting of man” asked another
“Yes, that’s correct, recently in Gujarat riots, many men were cut and chopped to pieces” said another official.

Forest officer than suggested the same to Superintendent, who consulted Assistant Secretary, who consulted Joint Secretary, who gave his nod to proceed.

Woodcutter sharpened his saw and axe. Someone from the crowd suggested that man trapped under the tree be asked for his last wish.

Superintendent approached man trapped under the tree and told him in a diligent manner,

“It has been decided that to rescue this tree, you would be cut into halves. Doctors are 50% positive that they can operate you and you would see light of another day, but as it may happen that you may not survive, and hence if you do have one last wish you can ask for it now”

The man Trapped under the tree was very happy to learn that finally Problem is being solved. He was thankful to everyone from Superintendent to JS and from Municipality officers to Forest officials. He however had one last wish, which he decided to ask from Superintendent who was a very kind man.

“Superintendent Sahib, I am a poet. The night it rained heavily, I was sitting under this tree, and I was composing a poem. I would like to recite the same to you”

“Oh, so you are a poet, very good very good. I will be glad to hear your last masterpiece.” superintendent was really happy to know that man trapped under tree is an artist.

Man was no ordinary poet too, He had been composing Poems from last 5 years, but there wasn’t a single person to whom he could sing those poems. Finally when he got the much awaited chance, he recited back to back full length feature poems of one hour duration.

The whole environment became melodious; in the meantime, someone alerted the Cultural Affairs and Broadcasting ministry about the poet trapped under the tree, who would be cut into pieces to rescue a jamun tree.

Soon Cultural Affairs Secretary visited the place and ordered an enquiry into the matter. Prima facie Poet was charged with breach of rules of broadcasting an entertainment program, without seeking permission from Cultural affairs Department. At the same time Cultural affairs department rejected summarily the idea of cutting the poet trapped under the tree, considering it loss of national culture.

4th day had passed; Gardener was offering food to Poet trapped under the tree, which the poet gladly accepted, but he was very tired and week.

Next morning Officials from Secretariat, Municipality, Forest department and Cultural affairs arrived on the spot, to discuss problem in hand.
Gardner was a foolish man; he abrupted the discussion and pointed towards the man

He was dead